In January this year, singer-songwriter, Msaki announced her [what I hope is just a] break from the music industry for the sake of her mental well-being following her making the headlines and social media trending lists for something other than her music. “Please release me. I may seem weak because I let this get to me. But I am sensitive and sentimental, an empath, my skin is not thick…it is porous so I feel changes in the wind” she said in a statement responding to the reactions to her statement.
Reading this, I was transported back to July 2022 when I met Msaki at the offices of a radio station I worked at. I am generally unmoved by celebrities, especially after working in that environment, but that morning I caught myself losing my breath at the idea of being in the same room as her, and even took a picture with her! This memory was enough to convince me that I NEEDED to see her and so began my journey to the Delta Love Experience.
The intimate setting of Gold Reef City’s Lyric Theatre provided the perfect setting for the healing that was to take part in that room. I arrived expectant, waiting to be filled with hope, love, and the resilience to fight for my heart.
Clad in pink, as per the dress code, Msaki descended to the stage and delivered a theatrical performance of “At Stake” under what represented a stake, bringing to life the reality faced by women and queer people who are murdered daily in our country.
The concert felt even more personal when she silenced the noise and brought us into her heart space, letting us on why she has made the decision to take time off. “I want to promise you that if I get exponential rest and I get exponential perspective, I will work effectively.” She said in a very personal speech to the audience. “I know that this is a hard thing to do but I also have struggled to stop and put my heart first. And if you let me carry on like this, you will pay for it because I will not be able to do my job of fighting for your hearts…I want us to understand that this is a journey of the heart” She ended before continuing to bless the audience with her sweet melodies.
During the interval, the audience was given flowers to place on a barbed wire fence after making their Delta Love Wish. A beautiful oxymoron where symbols of softness and love were placed on something that has been used to inflict pain on black bodies and silence black voices for generations. Upon our return to the auditorium, the flowered fences adorned the stage and brought to life the idea of giving the artist her flowers.
As if the moment was not already deep enough, she opened the second half of the show with a pre-recorded monologue that sounded like a page out of her journal. “I am looking for peace. For my intentions to match with my actions always. I am balancing joy and pain. I feel everything. My heart has a wide signal-receiving range. I still do not know how to manage that. I feel it in my body and I am grateful still. I feel I feel” she revealed.
“Lately, I have found myself with the courage to go to the shadows. To look at my past traumas and disappointments in an intentional pursuit of healing. I have lived alongside my wounds for so long, only reacting to the raptures and the breakdowns. I think I am ready to stop” she continued.
An even more beautiful violin solo followed this very raw moment and morphed into “Kuja Utanipata”, a beautiful love song that speaks about how the subject is an answered prayer. Produced by Sun-el Musician, the banger is surely a hit on wedding dancefloors all over.
Perhaps the moment I became the most annoying person in the room is when she sang “Nalithemba” and “Tomorrow Silver”, my absolute favourite songs from her. Fan favourites, Bom’ abumanga and “Khusela” followed these before Msaki finally closed the night off with a church hymn her mother taught her.
I left that concert filled. With the intention to honour my heart better by choosing to protect it in situations where I would usually prioritise someone else. With joy that can only come from shouting the lyrics back at one of my favourite artists – off pitch of course! With peace, and the understanding that even when I am in the dark, the sun will rise again. And with love, for life and how beautiful it always is.
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