I remember one afternoon, I was telling my uncle the story of how our former next door neighbour’s son got hooked on drugs as a result of peer pressure and he responded: iPeer pressure kanjani engumlungu? (Peer pressure how? Isn’t he white?)
My Grandmother must have had a similar thought on the fateful afternoon when she first put a coin in a slot machine, beginning her battle with addiction. There's no way her friends are leading her down her path of destruction, surely? She must have thought of all the problems she could solve with that money, after her friends convinced her it was an easy way out of poverty.
Peer pressure isn’t something that only exists in the scarcely read pages of an LO textbook, or in adolescence when your friend offers you a joint. It is a monster we have to face all through our lives, sometimes without even knowing it. Like when you go out for drinks with colleagues knowing that the only money you have left is petrol money, buying that four pipe when you know you won’t afford much else after it, buying those big boy bottles with your rent money or maxing out your credit card because you you need to look, or show up a certain way because abantu bazothini? (what will people say?)
Living in a society that values certain markers of success is bound to create a situation where many feel the need to achieve them. Unfortunately, it also creates a situation where many feel validated by them, leading to improper decision making to please people you don’t even like. While valid, aspiring to achieve a certain lifestyle should not come at the cost of your very being. If there is one thing I have learned from Gogo’s life story it’s that what is meant to be will be all in due time. With slow, steady moves success, whatever it looks like to you, will be yours. So be happy for others, and aspire to the life you want to give yourself, but never lose yourself to pressure.
Listen to Conversations with my Grandmother: The Podcast to hear more on the themes covered in the series.
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